Some kiss we want – by Rumi
There is some kiss we want with
our whole lives, the touch of
spirit on the body. Seawater
begs the pearl to break its shell.
And the lily, how passionately
it needs some wild darling! At
night, I open the window and ask
the moon to come and press its
face against mine. Breathe into
me. Close the language-door and
open the love-window. The moon
won’t use the door, only the window.
So 2014 has begun. A New Year. So often a new year starts unaware, unbeknownst to us. We continue along the same path, make resolutions that we are sure not to keep, and tread in the same well-trodden ruts. To truly begin a new year on a new path takes an enormous amount of effort. An analogy I use, I am sure it is not my own, for my mindfulness classes is that of trying to steer a carriage out of its well worn ruts. It can be a seemingly impossible task and with the effort of changing paths the carriage itself is at risk of tipping over with the changing gravitational points. Sometimes it takes looking at our lives from a completely different perspective to enable any change, or to confirm that we are indeed in the rut we wish to be.
This past year has been one of so much change that I find myself starting this new year very slowly. Very tenderly. Deeply listening to that which calls me into the future of my unfolding being. A future I know that is held within the choice of this moment. And as I reflect on the year past, a watershed year as I previously described, my mind, body and spirit connects deeply to a sense of exhaustion. In that exhaustion I am reminded strongly of Irish poet David Whyte’s questioning of his own sense of exhaustion with life when he was faced with momentous change. He enquired of his good friend Brother David Steindl-Rast what the antidote to exhaustion might be. Brother David’s response has now become well known. “The antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest. The antidote to exhaustion is whole heartedness”. Whole heartedness, not rest. Not stepping out of our lives, or turning away to hide, but showing ourselves more fully, no matter how shattered we may feel. The antidote to exhaustion is to fully engage with our lives in a way that brings all of ourselves into it. Allows all our being to be present and acknowledged. Not just the parts that we are happy and comfortable with but also the parts that cause us discomfort, that are messy and awkward, the deep longings and stirrings of our soul.
So this year, as I set the intention to step into it with wholeheartedness, one of the intentions I have set is my ‘engaging with a Wholeheart project’ based on themes taken from the writings of Brené Brown. I have also this past week committed to writing for ehospice.com (www.ehospice.com) a series of articles on mindfulness based on the themes of the eight-week MBSR. These will appear weekly from the week of the 20th January on the ehospice.com international page and I will repost on my blog. Have a look at the website for news from around the globe on the hospice and palliative care community.
My intention this year is to write, speak and be from the heart. To listen deeply within myself; to close the language door, the door of easy answers and stay, sit, wait, be, breath, and allow the love window to open; the window to the heart; that place within ourselves that is intimately connected to every part of our being; to sit within my own heart space with whole heartedness and allow the moon with its gentle reflected light and love to find me. May it find you too.